Unlike the common experience of excessive crying, not crying is a special kind of pain, a phenomenon many have not begun to comprehend. While experiencing grief, profound sorrow, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed, some individuals have a strange tendency to cease shedding tears. Asking the question Why can’t I cry anymore is not an isolated issue. This emotional blockage is more prevalent than expected, often indicating something more complex at play.
It is said that the process of crying is a form of physical, psychological, or emotional release. Failing to achieve a release can cause feelings of emotional numbness, perplexity, or worse, misplaced embarrassment. To comprehend the reason behind this reality is the primary means of beginning the healing process.
Responding to Emotions by Crying
Aside from sadness, a person is able to cry as a result of feeling other emotions such as happiness, frustration, relief, or pity. Science has proven crying to be a behavior that is associated with the parasympathetic nervous system and, therefore, neural functioning, as a means of calming down after a stressful experience. Crying is a form of behavioral rather than vocal communication that an individual can use to convey distress to other individuals, especially when help is needed.
The inability to cry is often due to a lack of emotional freedom and expression of feelings rather than just intellectual ones. Such a disconnection can be attributed to a number of reasons, trauma, depression, the use of certain medications, and internal beliefs.
Emotional suppression and learned inhibition
Inability to cry can result from long-standing patterns of emotional suppression. While growing up in an environment where crying is not encouraged or is punished, people often internalize that feeling and express any emotion as unsafe or a sign of weakness. Emotional reflexes, including tears, are, therefore, unconsciously and automatically turned off.
This is especially the case in:
- Families that view weakness as a defect of character and therefore don’t allow any signs of vulnerability
- Societies and cultures that hold emotional restraint in high regard
- Societies that hold rigid and traditional views of gender, where male crying is viewed as a major taboo
- Survivors of trauma who consider emotional expression to be dangerous
Emotional shutdown as a coping mechanism becomes learned when the environment or the world around the individual changes. It becomes even more challenging to change the learned response that the emotional shutdown coping mechanism has created.
Depression and Emotional Numbness
One of the more common reasons is “Why can’t I cry anymore?” stems from a profound sense of sadness or loss, which is often referred to as depression. While some people consider sinking into a state of depression to be automatically associated with endless tears, others experience emotional numbness as a complement.
This is how emotion in depression, often called anhedonia, is characterized: an inability to experience joy, sadness, or any form of connection. It is a state of existence where everything and being feels muted and as though one is behind glass. Relief that was once so intertwined with crying feels impossible.
The lack of ability to cry in such situations is not a lack of feeling, but a sign of being emotionally overloaded and subsequently shut down. During the brain’s survival phase, it may serve to mute all optional functions, including the expression of emotion.
Anxiety and Emotional Freeze
Although anxiety is most frequently linked to hyperarousal and, thus, racing thoughts, body tension, and movement restlessness, it may also lead to emotional shutdown. This is part of the body’s freeze response, a survival, reactive state in which the nervous system gets ‘stuck’.
In this state of being, people often state that they:
- I feel emotionally paralyzed.
- A blank state? Perhaps ‘dissociate?’
- Can’t cry. Cannot laugh or feel joy.
Anxiety that persists over the long term may cause the nervous system to stay in this frozen state for long periods. When in this state of being, expressing emotion is even more suppressed than in the everyday frozen state.
Effects of Trauma and PTSD
Having suffered emotional or physical trauma may cause the brain to rewire itself in such a way that adds protective functions. Protective functions may be over-sensitive, causing the individual to feel a sense of danger or being vulnerable, even paralyzed, whenever the simple act of crying occurs.
A person with PTSD might have emotional expression muted because of:
- Dissociation (disconnecting with one’s body or emotions)
- Hypervigilance (scanning for danger throughout)
- Emotional numbing (a primary symptom of PTSD)
In such situations, self-questioning why one might not cry anymore indicates a ‘stuck’ reaction, meaning the person’s mind has constructed a barrier meant to contain upsetting emotions.
Medications That Alter The Ability to Express Emotion
Cholinergic drugs, synthetic steroids, and these, along with other drugs, have the capacity to reduce or eliminate the ability to cry and feel deeply. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are given to patients suffering from anxiety and depressed states, blunt emotions.
This is often associated with:
- Limited emotions (no ecstatic or low feelings)
- Impossible to cry even at sad parts
- Emotional distancing from family, loved ones, and even important events
Changes in the emotional state of a person and the ability to express such emotions, with the onset of therapy, are a subject for conversation with the clinician. There might be suggestions that have to do with lessening or increasing the therapy.
Changes in Hormones in Conjunction with Tears
Changes in our bodies bring profound changes in our emotions, and especially changes in our hormones. Even during a particular menstrual cycle, the nature of the hormones released and the response of a woman during, can go through profound changes during the cycle. Even the following conditions can bring vast changes in the period:
- Pregnancy
- Menopause
- The time after the delivery
- The cycle of the month (menstruation)
‘’Emotional hypersensitivity’’ and the ability to express those emotions change in cases of both men and women who have a disorder of the thyroid. Expressing emotions and being able to show them work very differently in cases of having a Hypothyroidism disorder. These extreme deficits and boundaries in emotion expression change depending on the level of hormones in the body. Balance in emotions and maintaining them is something that can and needs to be worked on the most in cases of having a disorder.
‘’Why can’t I cry’’ is a question many people have, but it is normal not to cry and still hurt inside. The protective measures many individuals take in their daily lives stem mostly from unresolved emotions. It is very common for individuals to cry with no tears for the most part, but with grief in other constructive ways.
‘’Why can’t I cry’’ is a question many people and psychologists have dreamt of answering. Emotion and pain that is deeply embedded in our bodies takes a lot and needs to be processed with a lot of safe techniques.
The Part Played by Burnout and Disconnection
Today, disconnection is becoming a common phenomenon. Stress, distractions, and the nature of our modern-day lifestyles all contribute to burnout.
When burnout sets in, our brains shift focus to essential functions such as meeting deadlines, attending to urgent tasks, and fulfilling responsibilities. Crying, along with all other emotional expressions, is sidelined. It is common to feel:
- Numb and detached
- Disassociation to the point of looking at yourself from the outside
- Lacking interest in things that previously sparked interest.
Often, the path to rekindling emotions, in this case, involves the crossing of hurdles such as taking a break, making room for contemplating, and even undergoing therapy.
Breaking Barriers to Emotion
In case you start to wonder why you can no longer cry, the aim is not to hydrate your emotional “eyes” but rather to more safely and gently reacquaint yourself with your inner feeling.
In this case, the following suggestions can help:
Increase Your Emotional Quotient (EQ)
Begin this process by having honest conversations. Internal interrogations, as such, can be quite insightful:
- Right now, what do I feel and why?
- Do I feel any specific part of my body feeling numb or tense?
In this context, feeling emotions is no longer seen as a weak point or a poor quality but rather as an essential part of living to the fullest
Create Emotional Safety
If you’ve been taught that emotions can be unsafe, you should first develop a safe space. This can look like:
- Spending time with kind people who won’t judge you.
- Spending time in soothing environments.
- Grounding yourself with active strategies such as deep breathing and journaling.
You cannot be vulnerable unless you first feel safe.
Engage With Art and Story
It can be easier to tap into our own emotions when seeing them played out in someone else’s life. Observe yourself when you watch a sad movie, read a poignant book, or listen to a song and try to understand what emotions it triggers.
If you feel something, don’t run away. Sit with it and welcome the emotion.
Explore Somatic Therapies
Somatic experiencing, yoga, and mindfulness are examples of practices that bring the body and mind together. Emotions are not controlled by the mind only. Intentional breathing, gentle movements, or stretches, and other mindful practices, bring emotions into the body and can surface hidden emotions.
When to Seek Professional Help
Seeking help to process feelings is not shameful. In fact, it’s a brave step to take. If being overly stoic is accompanied by:
- Prolonged sadness without emotion
- Mental disconnection or solitude
- Panic-style anxiety and a tendency to dissociate
- Abuse or trauma
- Self-destructive or hopeless thoughts
…then it’s appropriate to consult a psychotherapist or counselor. Mental health practitioners can help pinpoint the reason for the emotional block and help facilitate the healing process.
Final Thoughts
Not being able to cry does not make you cold, emotionless, or broken. In fact, it is more often than not a sign that the emotional system is overloaded, overly guarded, or completely shut off. Wanting to understand the inquiry “why can’t I cry anymore” is not something to be shamed for. In fact, it is an aspect that should be embraced as it is a gateway to healing, empathy, and understanding.
Be it trauma, depression, medication, or burnt, there is always a path back to your feelings. You don’t have to walk this road by yourself.
At CA Mental Health, we can help you identify the origin of your emotional barriers. We provide supportive therapy that allows you to reclaim moments of relief, expression, and connection. We are glad to help you with the process.
